So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
