Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
