I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
