1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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