Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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