he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
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