dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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