just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
