I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
