apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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