I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So. Much. Porn.
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