yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
