i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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