who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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