apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I've blown a few things in my day
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
