Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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