Define "chronic" masturbator.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
