I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
