It's like God shit irony all over that family
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
