she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
