Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
