We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
