a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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