With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
