I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
