What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize