He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
