we're blogging at a bar
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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