So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i out mim tonsoeep
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