4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
are you so shy because you have an std?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
