Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
