i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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