return my video game
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is Oprah even human
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
