What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
