i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
