24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize