Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
