i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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