Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
