TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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