something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
