his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
