I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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