And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
