No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
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