I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize