she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
