Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think my moral compass just broke
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
