why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
