this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize