There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
