how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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