Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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