dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
