Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
