I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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