Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
