East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize