how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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