and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
