He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
