if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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