he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
