Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Randomize
