I heard we made out
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Your penis caused this!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
